Dreaming of eternal sleep

All i can feel is endless pain
thousand of pieces fallen on the grass
the brown grass that once was green.
They reflect our love and my emotions
but they are all dead without you.
This pain is so sweet, so bitter
it stinks and makes me bleed.
Blood...like a rain, like a river
running and running on my skin
white as the snow that falls outside.
Still i can only laugh at this
how red and beautiful it is
like my red lips used to be
pushed on your pinkish lips,
like my blushed cheeks used to be
cupped by your shaking hands.
Now i am a pale girl
walking in a dark world
holding a broken doll
that represents myself to this cruel world
and yet i cant stop smiling
imagining a beautiful world
where you are the Queen,
where you smile.
Suddenly i feel this crazy desire
to open my hands like wings
and fly away to the dark snowing sky
till my body will give up
and i can fall asleep
dreaming of this heart-taking smile
forever.